It's difficult not to feel inadequate at your first year of anything. It kind of makes me wonder why anyone would hire a first year teacher. These feelings of inadequacy creep up here and there, but today they surfaced when I read this blog entry posted on another blog I read. While the rest of the content was pretty good, he made a generalization that shot an arrow in my gut:
The unfortunate reality is that most new teachers, especially in challenging school environments, are not going to be particularly effective when they first start. Most have no idea how to control a classroom consistently, no idea how to plan rigorous lessons that teach students skills while engaging them in class, and no idea how to deal with the dozens of conflicts that arise daily.
Awesome. I already spend hours a day feeling like I have no idea what's going on. And while I think I have decent control of my classroom, I don't know that I have rigorous lessons. Maybe that's because we've only been in school 9 days. Maybe it's because I'm still testing to see which of them know how to read, write, and spell. But it takes so many positive moments to overshadow a negative one. In fact, the ratio is 4:1. So instead let's think of some of those. 1. An 8th grade teacher complimented my quiet class in the hallway. 2. The special ed teacher said I'm the only one that controls my class. 3. A 4th grade teacher loves my room.
So that's 3. Enough to convince me? I don't know. We'll keep trying.
I think that you overlooked one key element to the quote, "most". And to be perfectly honest, I don't think that you are "most" new teachers. One of his key points was controlling a classroom, and you were told that you're the only teacher who consistently controls their classroom. Did the special ed teacher say that you are the only first year teacher that controls their classroom? Let's be real. You've had a great model of what it looks like to create challenging lessons, and in that same classroom created your own to the detailed observation of people whose techniques you respect. If ever you're feeling doubtful, just listen to the uncontrollably loud classrooms in your hallway and take a sigh of relief that you have been well prepared and actually do know what you're doing.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. I think you are technically a second-year teacher...? Cut yourself some slack.
ReplyDeleteHe took the words right out of my mouth. I agree the key word is most. You are better prepared than most.
ReplyDeleteAs I have said before: Don't be so hard on yourself. You had a great student teaching experience, graduated with honors and received the Dean's Award for the LUC College of Education's Bachelors Graduates and you come from a family that never compares itself with the "average." Give yourself permission to be a new teacher (since you are) and grow into the position and I am sure that in a relatively short time you will be "leaping tall buildings in a single bound" just like your big sister. Yes, you can!
ReplyDelete1. Horatio, who's that?
ReplyDelete2. I guess I'm only a one-celled Foster because I compare myself to average people all the time.
3. Thanksgiving is really soon!!!!!